You Can't Ruin Christmas Read online

  “Stop it, Eve. It was completely unintentional, and that is also not the whole point of this phone call. You see, Mom was pressuring me to bring Sebastian because she thought it would cheer up Dad. So, I was planning to just… pretend that Sven is Sebastian. So that Mom and Dad don’t know how complicated everything is. But Sven says we shouldn’t start our relationship on a lie, and I know it’s not fair to him. What do you think I should do?”

  “That is… a tricky question,” Eve responds. “Can you turn on video, so I can see your reindeer?”

  I press the button to allow Eve to see us.

  “Hello, Rudolph,” she says, when she sees Sven. “Don’t you have some muscles.”

  “Am I going to have to deal with reindeer jokes for the rest of my life?” Sven asks with a groan.

  “Probably,” Eve answers. “So, what are your intentions with my sister?”

  “I’m just going to try to make her as happy as I possibly can, for as long as she’ll let me,” Sven responds.

  “Good answer,” Eve says, nodding with approval. “Okay, you can keep this one, Mary. He’s a good reindeer.”

  “That doesn’t help me decide what to do with Mom and Dad,” I inform her.

  “Hell if I know, sis! You’re on your own.”

  I sigh, kneading my forehead. “Okay, fine. How’s Adam, by the way. Are you pregnant yet?”

  Eve grimaces, glancing back over her shoulder to where Adam probably is, in the next room. “One crisis at the time. I’ll tell you everything later.”

  We say our goodbyes and hang up, and then Sven takes my phone away from me and holds it up. “What’s going on?” I ask him.

  “You promised me a selfie, remember?”

  “Ahh, okay. Let me just make sure there’s no taco on my face.”

  Sven grins. “I want to get your taco all over my face later.”

  This makes me smile, and he snaps a photo.

  Chapter Twelve

  We have taken another cab to my parents’ house, and unfortunately, it’s daylight. I considered asking Sven to shut his eyes, so it wouldn’t spoil the beauty of the Christmas sleigh ride through our property that I plan to take him on later.

  But with the glittering snow already covering all the trees, and giant ornaments and strings of sparkling tinsel hung from every single tree along the path, it looks almost as beautiful during the day as it does during the night.

  “Why didn’t you tell me that you grew up in such a magical winter wonderland?” Sven asks, as he stares at everything around us. “If I lived in a place like this, I don’t think I could ever bring myself to leave.”

  “My siblings and I planned to go off and see the world and seek our fortune,” I tell him, with a smile. “But part of my heart always remained at home. Growing up here—those were the happiest days of my life.”

  “Maybe we could move back here in a few years,” Sven suggests. “After you star in a couple movies, of course. Maybe I could open a gym in Snowflake Creek. Or start a franchise of gyms. This seems like the best place on earth to raise kids.”

  When he says that, my heart melts a little. I can’t believe this is really happening. He wants to stick around. He wants to be with me, and be here—in my favorite place. For the long term. Maybe this could really work out.

  As we exit the cab, collect our luggage, and head toward the house, I begin to feel even guiltier about the plan to lie to my parents. And when my mother greets us with excited hugs, my guilt worsens. She gushes over me for a good two minutes, telling me how beautiful I am and how much she’s missed me, and she doesn’t hold back the tears.

  “So, this is Sebastian?” she says, after she has finished fussing. “Let me look at you! How handsome. I couldn’t ask for anything more in my future son-in-law. Come inside and meet Mary’s father!”

  Sven and I share a look as we move after her, bringing our luggage inside.

  We move into the elegantly decorated family room, with our childhood stockings hung over the fireplace. My father is sitting in his favorite brown leather, reclining armchair, wearing an extremely ugly Christmas sweater that my mother knitted herself. He looks like the perfect picture of a grumpy old father.

  “Hey, Dad!” I say, moving over to put my arms around him.

  “Mae-Mae!” he exclaims with surprise. “I thought you weren’t coming home for weeks and weeks.”

  “Evie convinced me to come home sooner,” I tell him, kneeling by his side. “How are you doing?”

  “Oh no, your mother’s been telling the whole world that I’m losing my mind, and making everyone worry, hasn’t she?” my father says, scrunching up his face in frustration. “I will have you know that I’m not senile yet.”

  “Mary brought her fiancé home!” my mother says, guiding Sven forward. “This is Sebastian, dear. Isn’t he handsome?”

  My dad looks up with surprise, studying Sven. “I get it. You all really think I’ve lost my marbles. If this fine lookin’ fellow here is Sebastian Andersson, then who’s playing hockey right over there on the television? Huh?”

  I clear my throat, as my face begins to turn red. “Well, Dad, that’s last night’s game.”

  My father switches to some other sports channel. “Oh, yeah? So who’s this getting interviewed, live, about last night’s game? And his strategy for tonight’s game?”

  Sighing, I sit down on the coffee table. This was surely the shortest ruse in the history of ruses.

  “That’s my brother, sir,” Sven says, stepping forward and extending his hand to shake my father’s. “My name is Sven Andersson. I’m sorry we lied, Mary just thought it would be simpler.”

  “Simpler than letting her old man know that her boyfriend is a scoundrel who’s been all over the internet with dozens of other girls?” my father asks.

  “I check up on you kids using Instagram,” my mom says, putting on her bifocals to peer closely at her phone. “When I saw all those posts, I couldn’t help but get a little worried about you, dear. And we kept asking you how you were, and you kept lying and saying that everything was fine, when it clearly wasn’t.”

  “So, you’re in on this together,” I say, covering my red cheeks. “You guys hoodwinked me.”

  “Of course, sweetie,” my mother says moving to the kitchen to pour us some large mugs of hot chocolate. “You can’t hoodwink the original hoodwinkers. It’s our job to make sure our baby’s okay, even if she’s on the other side of the country.”

  “So, Dad is really fine?” I ask, turning to him. “Eve said that you were having problems with your memory. That you wandered out into the snow, barefoot.”

  “Oh, nonsense, I was just fixing something! One of the old lights needed a bulb, and I was too lazy to put on my boots. Your mother blew it out of proportion. I’m strong as an ox, Mary.”

  “I would still like to take you to the doctor, to get checked out,” I tell him. “Just in case.”

  “Maybe you need to get your head checked, Mae-Mae!” my father says with a laugh. “I can’t believe you tried to fool me that this was Sebastian. If there’s anything a Minnesotan man knows, it’s his hockey players.”

  “Well, Sven is an even better hockey player, Dad,” I say proudly. “He just tore some ligaments in his knee, but he’ll be back on the ice in a few months.”

  My father scoffs. “Of course, he’s better! I saw him playing minor league hockey in Ontario, California. He was incredible. So, Sven, are you actually my daughter’s boyfriend, or did she just trick you into pretending with some kind of guilt trip or weird incentive?”

  Sven grins, looking over at me. “I’m actually her boyfriend, sir.”

  I feel butterflies fluttering in my stomach at hearing him say that.

  “And how long has this been going on?” my mother asks, peering through her bifocals at Sven as she interviews him.

  “It’s fairly new,” he admits, “but I’ve been in love with her for many years, so not really that new for me.”

  Oh my gos
h. He just said the L word. To my parents.

  This is too sweet, cute, and embarrassing. I am smiling so big that my face hurts.

  “Excellent, excellent,” my father says. “Well done, Mary, it’s always wise to pick the superior hockey player. A man who knows how to handle his stick properly is sure to be better in—”

  “Dad!” I interject, plugging both my fingers in my ears. “I don’t want to hear the rest of that sentence.”

  Sven and my mother begin laughing, and my father joins in as I blush several different shades of red.

  Chapter Thirteen

  After a few warm mugs of delicious Christmas beverages, spiked with brandy and cognac and other cozy liquids, Sven and I moved our luggage up to my bedroom for some rest. We were both rather exhausted, having only gotten a brief nap after our rendezvous on the plane.

  But we weren’t too tired for me to discover that Sven is an even better lover in a comfortable bed, without all the logistical confines of an extremely cramped space. And that sleeping in his arms is every bit as perfect as I had hoped it would be.

  We woke up just in time to enjoy the last sleigh ride of the evening before the horses needed to rest. The poor horses had been pulling kids around the property all afternoon, with antlers strapped to their heads to simulate the look of reindeer. Sven and I were happy to snuggle up under blankets in the sleigh as my favorite horse, Buttons began pulling us as a leisurely pace through the miles of beautifully lit pathways of trees.

  My parents have added dozens of new displays, I note, as Buttons walks along. Some of the animated scenes are truly spectacular, such as one display of an assembly line in Santa’s workshop. They have also added some impressive tunnels for the horses to walk through. There are some newer, Disney-themed displays as well.

  “Look, it’s Sven the reindeer!” I point, laughing myself silly.

  “I can’t believe your sister called me Rudolph,” he grumbles, but he’s smiling.

  This is basically my perfect Christmas.

  A sleigh ride in a pretty, horse-drawn carriage past miles of decorated trees, snuggled up with the sweetest, sexiest man I’ve ever known. How can you beat that?

  “I made that one with my sisters, when we were young,” I tell Sven as we approach a display of a family of Snowpeople. Unlike making snowmen out of temporary snow, we used wires and lights to represent ourselves in our own little family. I know that it doesn’t have the most artistic merit, but the memories make it the best one in my heart.

  My parents have also added those new laser lights everywhere, which add plenty of movement to the static displays, cascading throughout the tallest trees, transforming the fog, and covering everything with moving light.

  It’s absolutely breathtaking.

  I am distracted from telling him the stories behind each display when my phone buzzes in my pocket. Pulling it out, I stare down at the message with concern.

  “Oh no,” I whisper. “Clara was injured. Badly.”

  “The ballet dancer?” he asks.

  I nod as I text back. “She told me that some girl was trying to steal her job, but I didn’t take it seriously. Now she’s messed up her ankle, and she says they are going to need to operate.”

  “Does she have a good surgeon?” Sven asks. “When I hurt my knee, I flew home to Sweden to make sure Klaus was the one to operate. I wouldn’t risk the future of my career on anyone else.”

  “She said she’s just upset and tired, and coming home to rest before anything else,” I say, scanning through her messages. Then I look up at Sven with wide eyes as an idea dawns on me. “Clara and Klaus,” I say softly. “Clara and Klaus!”

  Sven laughs. “Are you thinking of using your sister’s busted ankle and excruciating pain to set her up on a blind date with Dr. Christmas?”

  “Yes!” I respond at once. “You text that cousin of yours and find out when he’s available. Send him a plane ticket and we’re going to totally hook them up.”

  “It’s not a bad idea,” Sven muses as he begins sending the text. “I mean, I don’t know your sister, but if she’s anything like you…”

  “She’s better, in every possible way,” I say seriously.

  “Well, I doubt that.”

  “She’s exactly what Klaus needs to mend his broken heart!” I say, sighing happily as I look around at the lights on all the trees. I really might be getting a little drunk on all this Christmas romance. Clara’s never had a serious boyfriend, and all our attempts to introduce her to people have failed. What are the chances it will work this time?

  “I feel a little guilty playing matchmaker like this,” Sven admits. “Plus, Klaus is a few years older than us…”

  “He’s gorgeous,” I say, with great emphasis. “One look at Klaus and Clara’s going to want him all up in her Cloyster.”

  “You are such a nerd,” Sven says with a laugh, placing a quick kiss on my lips.

  We both notice then that Buttons is slowing down.

  Looking up curiously, we see that there is a man standing in the pathway. We can only make out his silhouette in the dark. For a moment, I think it’s my father, but then as Buttons moves closer, I see that he’s way too young.

  “Sebastian?” I murmur.

  “Oh, fuck,” Sven says. “We have to deal with this now?”

  “Mary!” Sebastian calls out, moving forward. “Mary, I’m so sorry. I really screwed up.”

  “Uhhh.” I sigh, looking at Sven for help.

  “Hey, bro!” he says, standing up in the sleigh as it comes to a stop. “I think you’re in the wrong country, man! You have a game in Toronto tonight, don’t you? It’s over there!” Sven points in the general direction of east.

  Smiling, I wrap the blanket closer around myself.

  “Please,” Sebastian is saying. “Mary, can we talk?”

  “Why, Seb?” I ask. “What are you doing here? You dumped me, remember?”

  “I wasn’t thinking clearly,” he says desperately, moving closer. “It’s just been a crazy couple months, Mary. I wasn’t ready for all the fame, the crazy schedules, the screaming fans…”

  “I bet you weren’t,” I mumble under my breath.

  “I saw the Instagram post of you two together,” Sebastian is saying, and he sounds out of breath, like he’s been running. “I know I promised I would come home with you for Christmas, and when I saw that you tagged Sven at that local restaurant… you just looked so beautiful, and I missed you so much, and got on the first flight over here.”

  “Why?” I ask.

  “To make things right. I miss you, Mary. I miss you so much, and I should never have ended things. I want you back.”

  Of course. Isn’t that just classic. I find myself rolling my eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Seb. I’ve moved on.”

  “You can’t have moved on this quickly,” Sebastian says, panic visible on his face. “With him? My brother? Are you just faking this to piss me off?”

  “Not really,” I say softly, holding Sven’s arm.. “I just got dumped by my boyfriend and was feeling super sad and lonely. Sven was there to cheer me up.”

  “You can’t be into Sven,” Sebastian says with shock, pointing. “My shy, pathetic, good-boy brother couldn’t make a move on you in such a short period of time. It’s only been like a week.”

  “It turns out you can change your whole life in only a week,” Sven says. “If you’re brave enough.”

  “You guys are messing with me,” Sebastian says, with a smile. “This is a joke. You guys are playing some kind of joke on me right now. It’s not funny, Mary. You can stop faking it.”

  Sven grins. “I don’t think she was faking it when I fucked her on the plane ride over here, bro. I mean, she was screaming so loud I had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep the whole plane from hearing.”

  I giggle at this. “No, I definitely wasn’t faking anything.”

  Sebastian’s mouth has fallen open, and it’s kind of satisfying. “My Mary wouldn’t do s
uch a thing. She’s a good girl.”

  “Your Mary doesn’t exist anymore,” I tell him. “She would have invited you in for hot chocolate right now, and been nice to you, despite everything. But I don’t have the energy for that. I think you should leave, Seb.”

  “Who’s this?” my father asks, as he steps out onto the path. He must have been fixing up the lights nearby. He always replaces dead bulbs and removes any excess snow that might be blocking the displays after all the guests leave.

  “I’m Sebastian,” he answers.

  “I’m sorry, who?” my dad asks. “I’m having trouble with my memory. What are you doing on my property?”

  “Dad,” I say with concern. “You just saw him on television. The hockey player?”

  “Oh! It’s the fucking douchebag who hurt my daughter?” my dad asks. “I’ll be right back with my shotgun. If I can remember where I put it.”

  Sebastian shifts around nervously. “Um. Is he going to remember where he put it?”

  I shrug. “No idea. But I think it’s kept in a really visible location.”

  “I had better get going,” Sebastian says with a sigh. “I’m sorry, Mary. I’m sorry Sven. I know I really messed up, and hurt both of you. I didn’t mean to ruin Christmas.”

  “You can’t ruin Christmas, asshole,” Sven snaps at him. “Look, just call Mom, okay? She’s been trying to reach you for months. If you can patch things up with her, then text me in the new year, and I’ll be willing to consider being brothers again.”

  “Okay,” Sebastian promises. “I will.”

  “But Mary’s mine, and you’re never going near her again. Got it?” Sven demands.

  Sebastian nods slowly. “I understand,” he responds, as he begins walking away.

  I sigh and collapse back down abruptly in the sleigh. Sven sits down beside me, and wraps an arm around my shoulder. I bury my face against his neck. The horse has begun walking again, pulling us along the path to go home.

  We sit in silence for a moment, as the snow begins falling all around us in fluffy flakes. The laser lights hit the snowflakes in delightful patterns, creating a beautiful display all around us. It’s hard to stay sad or at upset at anything in this weather, and in this place.